tapos na rin ang preakin peyper!!! ako'y nagsasaya!!!

YAHUY!!!

alix | 9:44:00 PM

para sa mga di pa umaamin...

Pakisabi na lang...

"pakisabi na lang na mahal ko sha
di na baleng may mahal shang iba
pakisabing wag shang mag-alala,
di ako umaasa.
alam kong ito'y malabo
di ko na mababago...
ganun pa man, pakisabi na lang..."

di talaga pwedeng turuan ang puso. kung pwede lang eh di sana mas
maraming tao ang masaya ngayon kaysa malungkot. kung pwedeng turuan
ang puso, ang mamahalin lang ng tao eh yung pwede lang niya mahalin -
yung mahal na sha, o yung taong kaya shang mahalin. taong gustong
matutong mahalin sha.
pero hindi talaga natuturuan ang puso.
yung iba sinuswerte. kita na nila kaagad yung para sa kanila. tapos
ok na sila. siguro, lapitin lang talaga ng swerte. o malakas sa kung
sinong Diyos. o nasa tamang lugar sa tamang panahon.
yung iba naman, malas ng konti. nadadapa muna bago mabago nang
tuluyan ang perspective. kasi sila, kadalasan, ang hanap, perpekto.
eh wala namang perpekto dito sa mundo. "tama" lang, hindi "perpekto".
tapos kapag nadapa, nauuntog. natatauhang panahon na para maghanap ng
tama lang at hindi perpekto. kaya ayun. eventually, ok rin.
yung iba naman, forever na silang nadadapa. bumabangon, hindi
natututo, nadadapa uli. or, nadadapa, nasasaktan, at hindi na umuulit
pa. masakit yun. kasi naipagsapalaran na nila mga puso nila,
nasaktan - siguro grabe - kaya napilitang itago na lang ulit. kawawa
naman sila.
pero ang pinakakawawa... ay yung hindi man lang nadadapa kahit
kailan. kasi hindi pa nila naranasang makipagsapalaran. hindi pa nila
nilalabas ang puso nila. hindi pa sila nagmamahal. hindi pa sila
nasasaktan.
hindi pa nila nasisimulang turuan ang puso nila.
eh teka - di ba nga hindi natuturuan ang puso?
yun nga. dahil kusa siyang natututo. natututo sha sa bawat hinagpis.
sa bawat hagupit ng kamalasan. sa bawat pagkakataong kailangan niyang
kayanin ang sakit - sakit ng rejection, sakit ng pagkawala, sakit ng
pagkakadapa kahit makailang beses na rin siyang bumabangon.
dun natututo ang puso - sa sakit. kaya hindi dapat matakot masaktan.
paano matututo ang isang pusong nakatago?

"ganun pa man, pakisabi na lang..."

wag na.
ikaw na mismo ang magsabi.
ilabas mo ang puso mo -
may karapatan siyang matuto.

alix | 7:59:00 PM

waw.. gising pa talaga eh.. e2 na ang pinakal8 ko after nung summer... haaayyy grabe na tohh!!!!!

alix | 3:34:00 AM

good morning!!!!

matutulog na ko!!! xD

alix | 3:33:00 AM

ang saya... 3 am na... gising pa ako!! wahaha!xD

alix | 3:11:00 AM

waw!!!
haha, un lang..
waw!!!xD

alix | 7:42:00 PM

so when you say you hide it
pay the fine and don't regret your stars
but when you steal the pipe and blow the kisses oh you take your part

but when you know feel you find it
know you'll find it..
don't forget your stars...
bcuz your soul is burnin'
time is turning...
no one stays the same..

(wooo...woo woo) 3x

inside my mind your tracin'
face to face and wonderin' tru your waves
regressing
eyes are hollow
soul so shallow... oh you drain my heart

butterfly 8x
(carnival) 6x

Fly!!!

(woo... woo woo) 3x

alix | 7:35:00 PM

Kapit, nakakalula na
Wala nang masabitan
Lapit, nakapagtataka
Wala nang makapitan

Ako ay nahuhulog sa 'yo

Kapit, lumalayo ka ba
Hindi ko na masabi
Hapit, tumutulin yata
Baka ano mangyari

Ako ay nahuhulog sa 'yo

Unti-unting bumibilis
Mga kamay namamawis
Nauubusan ng lakas
Paano kaya maliligtas

alix | 7:32:00 PM

i wish i were a fish
~dawn marfil~

missing you has never been quite so easy.
all i need to do with utmost solemnity
is brethe and with that i shall begin
the easy process of remembering your absence.

to think that breathing speaks of life is a fallacy.
it is nothing but a screaming yellow post it
attatched to my forehead that says "i'm alive but without you"
which really is another state of death.

what if i trade my lungs for gills?
then breathing with my gills
will not be the same
as breathing without you.

becoming a mermaid
has always been a dream of mine
and now
i know why.

trading water for air,
i would have exchanged this world
for a world without you. oh but i forgot
a small but not necessarily insignificant detail - memory!

the would of air and the world of water
will not erase the cursed
but beloved memory
of you from my disobedient head.

it refuses to unremember you
no matter how many times i torture it
with banners that say
"he's never coming back!"

but wait, a fish has a short memory has it not?
that's why goldfish swim
from one end of the bowl to the other,
thinking that thye've never been there before.

i want that kind of memory.
after all, it seems that it is the kind that you have.
why should i not be blessed
with the same forgetfulness?

overdramatic outpourings of tortured poetry and prose
are all i have to show for this
short-lived romantic entanglement
and i wish to disentangle myself from it,
from you.
i wish to become a fish who needs not the air you breathe.

alix | 6:58:00 PM

gawd... nakakairita..
una, bigla nawalan ako ng tkd.. kasi tinanggal bigla instructor namin.
sunod, di ako makakatugtog sa 19 ksi nasa province ako..
tapos, namove nanaman ung gig sa 27..
tapos, pressure pa dahil dun sa pakin shyet na adlib..
tapos, ung thesis paper pa!! dyos ko!! di ko alam kunga pano simulan!!!
tapos, hndi pa gumagana ang prendster... arghh.. minsan na nga lang ako magfriendster e!!
tapos di ako makasend sa ibang network.. ung chineck ko balance ko, 0 pesos na!! e sandali lang, di ko naman ginagamit un!! last week 47pesos pa un ha!!! anu baaaaaaaaaa......

alix | 6:48:00 PM

i keep looking in all the places
where you are supposed to be
but i never seem to find you
and you're all i long to see
i just can't seem to understand
what it was that changed your mind.
all this time i thought i knew you
when really i was blind
but know that i do not hate you,
and i know i never will
because i cared about you then,
and i cared about you still.
even though you hurt me,
i can't seem to let you go.
but i will go on without you
and i want to make sure you know.
it will take sometime to mend
the damage that you've done.
but broken hearts do heal,
that's where the strength comes from.
for now, the tears may be falling,
and my thoughts keep circling to you,
but soon, things will get better..
if you have hope, then they always do...

alix | 8:44:00 PM

EXCUSE me
you never gave me back
my heart after you
kindly RIPPED it out.

alix | 8:00:00 PM

how could you not love me???

alix | 9:10:00 PM

harrr.... it doesn't make sense...
why doesn't it make sense,
nothing is fuckin' making sense anymore!!!!!!

alix | 7:48:00 PM